Info:

Phone: 000-000-0000
E-mail ____.____@gmail.com
P.O. Box: LOL you really think I have a PO box?
Carrier pigeon: In the event that a solar storm takes out all communications and plunges us into a new dark age, you can reach me with a trained pigeon that has been born and raised at my house.
However, I will not be liable for the bird's care, training, medical expenses, or education, formal or informal.